Politics and Bullshit are they so far apart

You ever have that feeling like what ever you do isn't good enough and you don't or can't make a difference! Now on top of that my beloved GF seems as is she's going to give me the Dear John, here pretty soon (no offense to anyone named john). Not that I am the most unwanted human on the face of the earth at the moment (soon to be changed) I am over 40 and have Diabetes, have been unemployed now for over 8 months, good eh! yeah even I wouldn't date myself let alone want to be myself if it wasn't for my GF and ever loving friends I probably would be homeless and have AIDS by now or my home would have been destroyed by some freak accident of an ungodly nature. So how do you get out of this loop? what do you do? because I'm at a loss really in a state of confusion! So what I'm attempting to do is by blogging and kind of brainstorming, trying to talk my way out of this gigantic slump that I have jumped into! here we go!!!
You know when everything that is right is wrong and everything that is wrong is...well going to go for the other guy. What great god came to my life and said guess what "Today is the day you (that means me) are going to screw the rest of what looks like a good life or starting to be, up! yup that happened, now what to do, do I go to the temple and get purified? do I whip myself and cause sef-inflicted pain, (ehehehe) internet porno just doesn't seem to be the answer, and you can't expect your friends to any more than encourage you not to do anything stupid (thanks). does anything work? can you fix it? is it destiny? do you believe in destiny? Is there a all powerful being or whatever that controls it? what about free agency that is taught in 99% of all religeons the process of making our own choices? does tis mean we are free to make our own choices acocording to the will of another, as long as we choose the right path we are free to pursue the right road? only according to that which is lad out for us? some religeons teach not destiny but pre-ordination? how different or similar are they! Am I destined, pre-ordained to fail if I don't make the choice!? or just destined to fail? you know like a grade curve, getr some A's and some B's and some C's and some (like me will unfortuneately...Fail, My saving grace is a saying I once heard that said (Idon't remember who said it or where and when) something close to this, people would really be surprized at where they stood right before they quit, because they were usually right at the point of success! I must be right at the brink of major break through!! Cuz I'm right at the quitting point! But in the words of the great Winston Churchill, " Never quit,...Never quit, never quit, never quit, never quit, never quit, never quit." 7 times if I'm not mistaken, (does this mean I shouldn't have qiot smoking and drinking!!) so here I am. And then again there is the great story of the man beating stick, Job, a man whowas so faithful to god that god could use him as a basis of example to Satan during a challenge from the Devil himself. the message -Have faith-pure and simple go forward, move on despite the turmoil that surrounds you. I used to be amune to the gossip and junk talk that surrounded me but now that I don't have a job, I can't help but hear the crap that goes on! when you work it is second door to your job, because you are pre-occupied. need to get pre-occupied. need to get a job! knew it from the start. thanks for being my listeners. Gotta get busy and get a job can't sit around and blog!!! GEEEZ what the hell have I been doing!!

Inner politics...blah blah blah

Ah yes spring is here, the time of newness(?) and freshness change and growth. So what do you have to say this is where you get to start the new year for really! does this also mean forgive too? I really wonder, it say to forgive is heavenly...what exactly does that mean? (goin churchy on ya) It says in the Bible, that God s a jealous god and he will forgive whom he will forgive but it unto us to forgive all! But then we are to fashion ourselves unto him!?(in other word as we teach our children too do as I say not as I do). ah! So know I have vented and time to start.
This particular blog will kind of be a lot of venting (it is spring).
Rumors and gossip vs. caring and worry, how does it break down, simply, when you pass a verbal message on with the intent to do harm or defamation it is a lie or rumor or gossip(gossip meaning the bad kind), but even in the best of intentions kind get you the wrong results right !?
I've always been pretty oblivious and or ignorant towards rumor and lies but when they effect you loved ones and or family it gets pretty hard, Admittedly I am not the perfect person that you all think of me as (Hahaha) and have my faults yet I do not intentionally try to hurt anyone!! this I speak the truth. after 10 years of working behind a bar, I've been the hearing and listening ear to many a story and have been able to see the effects of the rumor on lots of people, including myself. And I still cannot see the satisfaction of it! how do you better yourself by belittling someone else? And the chicken hearted type of person especially who says or starts out like this, "don't say I said anything... or I didn't say this but..." if you don't have the guts to face up to it then don't say it!! Furthermore if you don't know who said it and you pass it on have the courage to be the origin of the rumor! cuz you are!
So what is the attraction to it? to be the one who knows about everything? or the center of attention! don't get it! that is it for the rumor thing but what about the ones who don't do it to harm you but do it out of caring, you know the type that comes and says " Hey, I heard about so and so... is he/she OK? can they do that?" what this does is puts pressure on the person to act like society want them or thinks they should act. Do you act accordingly?
Which person are you ? If you hear that there is a rumor about you what do you do ? do you; 1- get revenge by saying something about that person, 2- get angry and find this person and beat them senseless, 3- ignore it and go on. I try to be number three but I really am getting tired of all the bs going around! just to let you know this would have been a three page long venting tour about 2 weeks ago but I have since cooled down and am now just wondering what gives the soul fuel to keep the jealousy going and revenge flowing. Why does bother me and when did I stop being amune to it!

Slipping in the polls

All right now here we go again, back again to the blog site, or what I call the cyber-vent site. It's the All you eat site for the cyber-world OOoOOOooooOOoo cool, or at the least a little snappy. so the last time we were here we were venting about people in Japan... foreigners, one of my favorite past times, next is comparing Japans lack of being able to compare to the United States in everything, or at least my version of everything, you know, why the can't do business as well as I can, or how come I have the solution to all Japans problems. you know like who really runs Japan and why they can't get out from under the U.S. arm of {protection}. or most other world problems that I can solve better than anybody else....whatever....so again here we are...and...yup...uhhhh...what was I saying!? oh yeah bunnies...so back to foreigners in Japan, and the funny antics that go on. Anyone who has been in Japan for longer than lets say 5 years 4000 reruns of Star Treck ( the original) and finally gets cable T.V. and is eternally watching C.S.I. or American Idol, or 36 hours of the 4hour cycle of the Discovery channel, saying this I've been here for over twenty.... nuf said yup!! just to prove a point about the rerun thing I have a couple of friends who can, in Star Wars voice imitations recite verbatim StarTreck episodes mixing in and out of The Matrix scenes, actually having a converstion that makes sense!!! ( yes nerds...but the fact that I can understand them drives me nuts and they think it is funny) so yes we live the life deprived of any real social value, OH! I forgot to tell you that I live in Nagasaki Japan....so there it is, yes kinda small. anyway, you are here, in Japan, what is there to do, you can...drink alcohol, and go to a festival (another way to drink alcohol), date party!! ( yes another way to get oblitereated), weddings...(same), Hanami ( viewing the cherry blossoms) for the aesthetic(?) and cultural value (yup you guessed it, get blasted.... even better it is in the afternoon!!!) and just about anything you do in Japan leads to alcohol. You know lets see how many things lead to drinking.... start from the begginning of the year... ok Jan. 1 Years day (Japan last for three days!!! hahaha-- suckas), the coming of age day ( in Japan turning 20) it's supposed to be for those of you turning 20 years old...yeah right older and younger are getting in on this one!!! (party together, you know caste society! ) then you have Shinnenkai ( begginning the year party for companies ...and dprivate companies, and friends and...well you getit! then there's Feb. Founders day, and coincedently my birthday!!! then some friends birthdays, then March the Vernal equinox ( yes they celebrate that here with a holiday), and nore birthdays and graduation!!! paaaaaaartee! Now It's spring time and you have the cherery blossoms ( drinking from noon, and night time viewing too) all day!! May, Golden week!!!! yes one week of drinking parties(Golden Week is two holidays that are a day apart so they just made them three days, if you play you cards right you coul have up to ten days for vacation). More birthdays, weddings you know, now we are slowly getting to warmer weather, this means more parks and BBQ and such, it is good enough to hit the beach, for those of you who are blessed to live close enough( yes I live 20 mins from a ton of very fine beaches). Then ther's June I don't know if there is a holiday in June but who cares it's summer and the rainy season, hot and muckky!! Drink and be merry! Now we start for summer, it's July, we have Ocean day and... basically summer, who needs another reason. Then August rolls in and you have Obon Japans' own "Day of the dead" drink and eat! and you should come to Nagasaki for this event I promise you will never regret of forget it!!! I'm sure this would be outlawed in most or all other countries, except China! now your in the festival season, drink, drink, drink. now we're into September and the summer solstice and seasonal foods that are absolutely exquisite but generally made to compliment alcohol! October, more festivals Health day, November, Old peoples day, now we sar the end of the year parties, drink, drink, drink. and December, year end Christmas small calss reunions and party, party, party!!! and slowly but surely liver failure for most of us and the others much af what happened cannot ( and probably should not) be remembered! Yes Japan, culture, reserve, exquisit quisine, adn....ALCOHOL!! Ok so enough about that next time we'll talk about...ooooh, How good your Japanese is!! this is a great topic. Prenta guidance is advised for this one!!